


coming home

by PurpleAsters



Series: Young Wings [3]
Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BK and Chan are not in this I'm sorry, Coming of Age, Confusion, Gen, Getting Together, Growing Up, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Inspired by Music, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Prequel, Small Towns, Teen Angst, Teenagers, Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22793674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleAsters/pseuds/PurpleAsters
Summary: He reminds him of the saddest tragically written stories, the plot so meaningful but covered by the tears of the readers and abandoned to be thought of as nothing but that, a tragedy.he is seen as sharp claws instead of smooth milk teeth, brown hair hides horns and pale skin is dusted black rather than redbut he is not evil, he is soft and kind with a sugary smile of teeth so white that it seems like he's coated them with paint that tastes of strawberrieshe finds him ethereal, so damaged but floating by the hands of them, his hands forever rested on his waist like an anchor to keep him from floating up to high.Junhee doesn't ever want him to float away, he's too in love with the feeling of his heart in his hands.[ CURRENTLY ON HOLD ]
Relationships: Lee Donghun/Park Junhee | Jun
Series: Young Wings [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610962
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. the boy with metal for teeth

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! ~
> 
> I'm back, with yet another story!  
> I thought about it a lot and decided that I would do a dongjun spin off of Strawberries and Cigarettes, like a prequel almost since it's going to take place BEFORE Byeongkwan even met Sehyoon (The start of S&C)
> 
> Byeongkwan and Chan will not be present in this fic, if they do pop up it will be VERY late in the story. This takes place waaaay before the hyung line even meet the maknaes, so beware lmao
> 
> Just like the other story (and most of my works) please not that it covers dark topics and is written in a strange way! 
> 
> Warnings include:
> 
> \- Domestic and Child Abuse  
> \- Mental Health  
> \- Unhealthy coping mechanisms (Self Harm, substance abuse, ect.)  
> \- Underage Alcohol/Drug use and Underage Sexual Content (Not explicit, mentioned and implied)
> 
> \- oher stuff that I can't list off of the top of my head, but is mostly what is in S&C
> 
> Warning about my writing style:  
> I have a very flowery (?) writing style, it's kinda like poetry but not? I can't describe it really, but I use a lot of imagery and similes! ease be prepared to get confused because i literally type what pops into my head in that second~  
> hehe 
> 
> if I've forgotten anything, I'll add it later! 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

_It's his first day of his freshman year when he lays his eyes on the prettiest boy he's ever seen in his life._

_He's in the back of his art class, sitting alone in the back furthest desk with his backpack slumped on top of his desk like a makeshift pillow, readying himself to doze off._

_he didn't sleep well the night before, up late playing a video that he's been working on finishing for three days prior, so his eyes are heavy and his limbs feel like lead weights as he moves around the living planes._

_his dream first day of highschool was long thrown out the window with his dumb gamer self, the nagging of his mother's voice (warning him just how tired he'll be) plays away in his ears like a recording on repeat, mentally smacking himself on the back of the head like a misbehaving child for not listening._

_now he's in his 7th - and last - period of the day, ready to collapse._

_He's felt like he's been in a trance all day, barely hearing his teachers speak or even responding to roll call, which means he's probably been marked absent from a few classes despite him attending._

_But before he can lay his head down theres two boys who walk in, and he's so much more awake now._

_there's this boy, this really pretty boy._

_he's got light brown hair, that's curling a bit at the ends and puffing out, it looks soft and cotton candy like. He's wearing a big cream colored sweater, the front tucked into his jeans._

_Soft looking chubby cheeks, squished up more in a bright metallic colored smile that makes him want to smile too just by seeing it._

_brown eyes that look sad, hooded and turned to mimic a puppy begging, lips down drooped and parted in a permanent pout as he rests his face._

_he's so beautiful, smiling away as he speaks to his friend, the dark and relatively scary kid named Sehyoon if he remembers correctly._

_Sehyoon is the opposite of the pretty boy, with inky black hair that blocks out his eyes._   
_a thin black hoodie with the sleeves pushed up his forearms like he's ready to fight someone, dark jeans that have more rips in the thighs and knees than he genuinely thinks is allowed at school._

_instead of a pretty sunshine smiles there's only a black stare with the very weak up turn of his lips at the other._

_He wonders just how someone so ethereal can be friends with just a black void like Sehyoon Kim._

_The teacher walks in, a happy smile on her lips that he thinks cant ever match the boy with metal for teeth_

_"Donghun Lee?"_

_"Here!"_

_he thinks Donghun is a really sweet sounding name_


	2. dreaming of strangers

_Art class becomes his favorite class of the day, and not because it's his last one or because the teacher is such a pushover that she basically let's the students do anything._

_no, its his favorite because he gets to watch the pretty sophomore who never looks back at him even once._

_gets to see him laugh with his friend, who seems to be the only one he talks to. the flashes of alignment equipment spark his hurt more as the image in his head builds._

_he sits in the back so nobody notices his stares, the light in his eyes or hear the rapid beating of his heart each time Donghun turns towards him, nobody can see the slight slump of his shoulders when the other doesn't spare him a wink._

_He's been doing this for a month and a half now, and there should probably be more guilt and shame than he felt at the moment._

_but this boy has him snatched, this guy that he only knows the name of and that his smile is prettier than the Victoria Secret models he sees the schools girls whine about._

_how whipped he is without a relationship to develope the dedication he's willing to hand over._

_but silver covered teeth and eye curves has drawn him in, locked him in a chair with his hands bound and legs screwed to the floor._

_Donghun throws his head back, a sweet sounding laugh leaving blood colored lips. how the sound is music to his ears, how it bounces inside his head and makes his heart speed up at the joy it holds._

_in his mind it's only Donghun, surrounded by purple asters like an angel halo._


	3. you're really pretty

_it's two months later, he's been more distracted by that boy than before and he's seriously blaming his teenage boy hormones for the not being able to just say a greeting like a normal human being._

_how he wants to mumble a hello, see soft features up close. but he'd be the first to admit how scared his is._

_the fear of rejection is injected deep into his bones, replacing the marrow with his weak liquid confidence instead._   
_so he keeps his distance, fingers itching to wave but remained locked at his sides._

_sometimes it's hard to be in the same room as the sophomore, like his lungs forget how to inflate on their own so they burn as he holds his breath in his presence._

_he's walked by him once, Donghun smells like clean laundry and something else, something almost sweet, something that lingers in his senses for days after, burned into his mind as a sweet he enjoys._

_Donghun is not the best artist, but neither is himself, but he can draw very cute cartoon rabbits and it makes his heart weak when they get posted around the classroom. one is next to Junhees own poor redraw of Starry Night, and just that fact shouldn't make him so happy and hopeful._

_It's not like Donghun knows he even exists, except maybe hearing his name during roll call. to the older he is nothing but a nameless face in the sea of high school students. but he holds the hope that one day they speak, exchange pleasantries and whispers soon._   
  
  


_Junhee rests his head in his palm, arm propped up on black desk, eyes blurring from sleep and burning a hole into the far wall of the classroom._

_Hes half asleep, the intense gaming habit he's developed is really kicking his ass lately. He's seen 4:30am more in the two weeks then in his life, but he's determined to finish the 20 hours worth storyline as well as the unending side quests._

_So putting it in the kindest way possible, Junhee is borderline brain dead._

_The class drones on, the sweet teachers voice fades in and out in regular intervals as Junhees head slowly slips from his hand as his eyes close. he bolts himself awake three times before he hears the bell finally signaling the end of school._

_He's lazy with his things, packing them away with sluggish movements compared to his classmates frantic dashing from their seats like the purge has commenced._

_Lavender scented sheets sound so sweet, a cool fan and the low playing of his TV. heaven awaiting in the form of his bed, sleep just a walk away._

_he's so busy daydreaming of his blankets that he doesn't notice his surroundings until his back is hitting the hard floor, head knocking into the leg of one of the desks, and a heavy weight his slammed on top of him._

_the oxygen is rushed from his lungs, his chest burning as his spine and shoulders ache in protest of the fall. a groan in pain, and a whimper from above._

_there's a rush of voices and the weight is lifted off of him, and there's a familiar coating of speech mumbling into his ear in panic._

_he opens his eyes, having clenched them shut during the fall and keeping them locked from both pain and embarrassment. he wishes he hadn't._

_Brown eyes, curved at the corners to turn down. Fluffy hair, soft cheeks and flashes of metal._

_He knocked into none other than Donghun Lee, also known as the boy of his dreams, in the most cliche high school meet up ever written in the books._

_He feels like dying, like digging himself a hole and burying himself until Donghun is long gone from this plane of existence._

_The voice is back, this time even more shame inducing._

_"Oh god, I am so so sorry!" Donghun is frantically flailing his arms, eyes darting Junhee for any visible injuries like a protective mother "I wasn't paying attention and just stepped back right into you! Are you okay? please tell me your okay!"_

_Junhee just blanks, he feels his body blink once before nodding his head like a silent puppet, master pulling his string to acknowledge a dumb question._

_Donghun makes to grab his hand, pulling his up with a bit of struggle at Junhees almost dead weight, but manages to steady the freshmen._   
_he's still fussing._

_"Did you hit your head? Shit, I landed on you too! Did I hurt you, oh god I feel so bad! I'm s-"_

_"- you're really pretty."_

_The pause that follows makes Junhee want the earth to swallow him up in it's soil, to take him away._   
_but at the same time, there's angels singing._

_Donghun is laughing, this really small and hushed giggle that he's trying to cover with his hand. cheeks bleed a soft red, and it's Junhees favorite color now._

_He knows his own face is the color of fire, he feels the heat that's hot enough to make his head pulse. His palms are sweaty but the smile that peaks from behind the makeshift cover makes his heart double speed._

_"H-How hard did you have your head?"_

_Junhee cringes_   
_"O-Oh god...I'm sorry that was totally weird! I don't know why I said that! I swear I'm not weird! I-"_

_another soft laugh, added with the soft smile he's seen yet._   
_"it's fine! I appreciate the compliment...I'm Donghun"_

_"Um...I'm Junhee?"_

_"Junhee, huh? you don't sound too sure about that!"_

_He swallows down the cry that bubbles in his throat. Junhees eyes widen a bit and he flails his hand around, nearly smacking himself in the face._   
_"N-No! I mean, yeah...Junhee! I'm Junhee, nice to meet you..."_

_Donghun is the softest person he's seen, and the small curve of his closed lip smile is melting his heart._   
_"Nice to meet you too, Junhee. "_

_"Donghun?"_

_Junhee snaps his head to the side, eyes landing on a slightly impatient looking Sehyoon Kim, dark hair covering his eyes as he subtly glares at Junhees person._

_he shifts uncomfortably under those dark eyes._

_Donghun doesn't seem to notice, sending Sehyoon an apologetic smile as he speaks up. voce still sounding like an angels choir ._   
_"Oh right, sorry!"_

_he turns to Junhee, smile breaking the others will power bit by bit._   
_"Sorry again Junhee! I'll see you later okay?" bye!"_

_and with that he's pulled away at the wrist, out of the art room and off school property._

_Junhee still smells fresh laundry and sugar._


	4. he's dreaming

_Befriending his crush is possibly the most miraculous thing to happen to him in his short 15 years of life._

_he's really not sure how knocking over a human means that you're reliable enough to form a friendship, but the gods are looking down at him with smiles apparently._

_He and Donghuns relationship isn't instantaneous, it's slow and starts off with just smiles shared in that art class and waves in the halls._   
_eventually that shifts to muttered greetings, Junhee loves the sound of Donghuns voice._

_He almost hates how drawn he is, how hard he's latching onto the simple string of communication and acknowledgement he's getting from the older. but the he sees that smile, soft cheeks and tired pouts._

_Sehyoon is an obstacle, his dark cloud of caution and distaste and distrust building a wall between the two faster than Junhee and Donghuns come down._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_"Junie!"_

_Junhee flinches as the sudden voice, but quickly turns around to see Donghun jogging up to him with a smile._   
_"Y-Yeah?"_

_"Want to eat lunch with me today? Sehyoon is home sick and I hate sitting alone..."_   
_Donghuns smile widens, metal glinting and making Junhees heart twist._

_"Oh! Sure...I usually eat on the roof though..."_

_A smirk._   
_"Ooh, a rebel. Careful Junhee, people will start thinking you're like me and Sehyoon..."_


	5. curiosity killed the cat

  
_In their tiny Town word travels fast._

_Whether that be about nothing more than I new purchase or something greater like an arrest, it's undoubtedly going to be known by every citizen within a day._

_The town knows Donghun Lee and Sehyoon Kim, and Junhee is slowly learning the rumors._

_two people that didn't belong inside the white fenced neighborhoods, shunned at a glance._

_Donghuns smile didn't get praises and Sehyoons self preservative nature was met with distain._

_Hearing Donghun use his and his friends names as a negative thing hurt Junhee, hurt deep in his chest and burned his skin as it crawled._

_Junhee openly frowns, disapproval blatant as possible as they stand in front of each other._   
_"what do you mean by that?"_

_Donghun on his part just laughs softly, but it's sad and forced, all with a shake of his head and a down turned gaze that rested on scuffed up sneakers. dirty white knock off Vans verses unmarked but slightly dusty black Nike's._   
_"You've heard the rumors, you know what we're like Junhee... "_

_"well, sadly I never found rumors to be a reliable news source?" He shrugs, shifting his weight in an attempt to seem more relaxed and unbothered._

_Donghun looks up and blinks like an owl, and Junhee tries to ignore how much bigger the others eyes become or the pretty catch lights that highlight the soft brown of those irises._

_there's another shake of soft fluffy brown hair, but this time there's a much happier laugh that's attached. This once makes his face feel warm as he pointedly looks away._

_"I'll be honest, you amuse me...Junhee Park..."_

_Suddenly there's another warm hand grabbing his wrist, his skin burns at the touch and has his eyes widening to an impossible size in an instant._   
_There's that soft voice speaking up again, and his heart flutters a bit at the now playful tone added into the words._

_"...Okay Junnie, come'on! Let's go get food!"_   
  
  
  
  



	6. Hand stitched patches and gummy bears

Donghun has stitches in his clothes, it's something that Junhee noticed the first few times that they had hung out. They hold together rips in his jeans and shirts and there's a pair of black jeans he wears most days that has a large purple patch stitched to his left knee where the original fabric had long faded and been rubbed away. 

Junhee has more clothes than he can count and if he'd ever attempt to walk around with cuts in his pants his mother would smack his on the back of the head. 

It's one of the differences between their worlds, Junhee lives comfortable while Donghun sleeps in a cold house.   
and yet, they're both lost boys, one just owns it like a silver sheriff's badge on the left side of his chest. 

But even though Donghuns shoes are scuffed and dirty with sharpie drawings on them, Junhee doesn't judge him one bit unlike their town. His name doesn't come with venom nor does he look away with a scoff, Junhee instead is too shy to call his name at all and he openly stares with bright eyes. 

god...he's so whipped...

Junhee doesn't even realize how much he's examining the smallest details surrounding Donghun, how when they hangout together Donghun seems just as smiley as he does when he's with Sehyoon. Junhee has cataloged so much information away from just the short time of knowing the older that it's borderline stalkerish. although it's too subconscious for him to be at fault. 

Today it's all three of them, Donghun having invited Junhee to join him and Sehyoon at the park after school. It's slightly awkward, but they've all piled into the large drainage pipe that runs under the road beside the old beat up park. It's dark, and the cement tunnel is covered in graffiti from the tainted teens of the town. 

Donghuns name is there too, right next to the word WOW with a crown, sprayed on with cheap black spray paint.   
Junhee wonders how much the two come here, to hang out under the busy road and sit on trash and dirty cement. 

Junhee turns his head from the tunnels opening to glance at Donghun, watching the other quietly as he leans himself against the wall. 

Donghun is sitting right beside Junhee, knees pulled up to make himself smaller, while he shifts through the plastic gas station store bag that Sehyoon had dropped in front of him. Sehyoon is laying down on the opposite of the two, head resting on his backpack while he types away at his phone. 

Donghun shifts and turns to look at Junhee, a smile on his lips as he speaks.   
"Gummy Bear?" 

The brunette looks down at the hand that Donghun is extending toward him, eyes landing on the brightly colored plastic package filled with even brighter gummy candies. He blinks at the little bears before sending a small almost shy smile back to the owner and reaching to take a handful. 

The sweetness reminds him of eating the same candy when he was a kid, it takes him back to scuffed knees and yellow Band-Aids. when was the last time he had candy? 

As Junhee watches Donghun he realizes how different they are, it's not a class thing but a personality thing. 

Donghun sits with his legs crossed while shoving those cheap gummies into his mouth, and Junhee knows that you're not supposed to eat gummy bears with braces and yet Donghun does it so care free. His knees have those patches on them, but he also notices that one of them has a sharpie drawing of a happy face dyed into the fabric. 

Donghun reminds him of innocent, with his very soft smiles and sad eyes.   
Reminds him of a mix between spring mornings and dead winter nights under the stars.   
Of childhood and love. 

He wonders if he reminds Donghun of anything, or if he's just a freshmen with a blushing problem who plays too many video games. Does he make the older think of summer afternoons, or maybe a snow storm instead? Does he feel comfortable and content around him?

Junhee wonders if he ever will, after all, they're too very different people with too very different lives.   
One is boarderline obsessive while the other is pure adventure and freedom. 

Black and White


	7. Live a little!

_"Come to a party with me!"_

_"Huh? I don't know_ _Donghun_ _... I'm not really a party guy?"_

_"Aw_ _come'on_ _!_ _Junnie_ _, you're in high school, freshmen year, this is your time to party!"_ _Donghun_ _all but whines_

_Junhee_ _sighs, leaning back to lay down on the school roofs cement flooring. The warm sunshine beating down on the three is so comforting, like a hug. But he doesn't have time to embrace the comfort as as soon as his back hits the floor_ _Donghun_ _is smacking his chest repeatedly in a rhythm as his speaks._

_"Please. Jun. Hee. Park!"_

_Said boy groans, rolling over to his side so that he can't be attacked anymore, which is successful as_ _Donghun_ _stops to stare at the younger with a pout._

_Junhee_ _knows, he knows too damn well, that if he makes eye contact with that pout that he's a goner. He'll give in before he can process what happened and be stuck going somewhere he isn't comfortable._

_So instead he keeps his eyes covered with his hair, and thinks. Parties were a staple for high school culture, just a step under college in the intensity._

_High school parties were notorious for getting too packed and eventually being broken up by the cops, someone always burns something and at least on girl takes her shirt off and dances on the table. Also, beer-pong._

_Junhee_ _wasn't a social person, hell even during his_ _latenight_ _matches of overwatch and destiny he keeps his mic muted and prefers single player games anyways. he doesn't have friends in school, unless he counted_ _Donghun_ _and Sehyoon but he really can't count Sehyoon at all and he's not sure if_ _Donghun_ _actually thinks of him as a friend yet._

_Junhee_ _is the quiet_ _backdesk_ _boy who does his work and has passing grades. He doesn't talk during class, doesn't meet anyone in the halls, and he eats lunch alone. but that's his routine now, it doesn't bother him._

_so a party? trapped around too many drunk and high people for his liking._   
_But, and this is a huge BUT, he'd be able to spend time with_ _Donghun_ _...right?_

_"... want to go don't force him."_ _Sehyoons_ _voice filters in._

_"I'm not forcing! It's called persuading Hoon, gosh pay attention!"_ _Donghun_ _whines, and_ _Junhee_ _realizes that the older his poking him in the side repeatedly as he looks at his friend._

_Sehyoon sighs, moving to lean again the short wall of the roofs edge._   
_"No, you're pestering him until he agrees. Kids not fit to go to parties, he's a shut in_ _Donghun_ _don't waste your breath. "_

_Yep, there's the Sehyoon he remembers._

_Junhee_ _groans again, getting back up to sit up straight and face the two. He pointedly avoids looking at_ _Donghuns_ _face._

_"No, he's right..." Sehyoon looks surprised as_ _Junhee_ _agreeing with him "I'm not a party person_ _Donghun_ _, I barely leave my house for school..."_

_Donghun_ _groans, leaning forward to grab_ _Junhees_ _wrists and the freshmen is sure that his rapid heart beat can be heard from a foot away. Those darn eyes curve more and eyebrows raise to accent the sad frown painted on full lips._

_"_ _Junnie_ _, please?" He shakes Junhee's wrists in his hold like a child begging their parent for a toy "Sehyoon always leaves me to find a girl and I don't want to go alone anymore!"_

_Sehyoon squawks in protest behind Donghun but gets ignored._

_Junhee_ _groans, letting his head drop back to stare at the cloudless sky for a moment._   
_"Fine! But I'm not drinking or getting vomited on."_

_While Sehyoon snorts a short laugh Donghun sends_ _Junhee_ _a small almost guilty smile._

_"I mean...I can't promise there won't be vomit?"_

_Junhee_ _groans again, and Sehyoon lets out a cackle._


	8. 50 proof high

  
_Junhee has never been to a party in his life, he's never snuck out at night before, nor has he ever rode in an illegally driven car. And yet he accomplished all of that in a matter of a few hours._

_Donghun had told him to dress comfortably but stylishly, as if he'd know what that meant or looked like or if he'd be able to pull that off._

_He wasn't the most fashionable guy, he cared more about sleep than anything ._

_So, dressed in a plain black tee-shirt and a pair of jeans that had sat in his dresser drawer a little over a year, he's panicking on the inside as he waits for Donghun to text him to tell him to come outside._

_God he's scared, like a confused child, and he's sure that his thumbs finger nail is bleeding from out much he's been chewing on it from his nerves._

_He doesn't know if he's more scared of the unknown or the repercussions he'll face if his parents find out._

_How disappointed they'd be if they found out..._

_But, despite all that, he's also kind of excited?_

_There's this electric feeling in his nerves that's making him both jittery and sluggish at the same time somehow._

_He's terrified, but also curious._

_His phone dings, the sound makes him flinch hard enough that his bed bounces from his movement. He glances at the lit up screen._

**_You have (1) new message!_ **

**_Hunnie_ ** **_🌼_ **   
_..._   
_We're parked up the street! Hurry up!!!!_

_Junhee lets out a_ _shuttery_ _breath, gulping down the lump in his throat as he stands up and checks his pockets for his wallet and phone, don't mind the mini heart attack he gave himself when he forgot that his phone was still in his hand and not his pocket._

_He listens for a moment, he knows everyone is asleep but he's still cautious._

_Before he can start second guessing himself Junhee opens his window. His house is only one story, but it's still high enough off of the ground that it's hard to climb in and out of his room. Not that's he's ever tried before mind you._

_He grunts as he slides out, momentarily panicking when his shirt gets caught on his window seal and almost rips. His feet hit the ground and he stumbles a bit at the impact._

_"Jesus have mercy...how do the kids in movies do this?"_

_With one last adjustment of his clothes he steps away, eyes darting back to his house every few inches. Both anxiety and excitement bubbling in his chest like a furnace._

_True to_ _Donghuns_ _text he sees a beat up car half a block away from his house, there's very soft music playing from inside but junhee doesn't recognize the song even as he pulls open the back passenger door._

_Sehyoons_ _is in the drivers seat, that black hoodie he always seems to be wearing is missing for once, instead he's just wearing a white shirt and jeans. Donghun is in the passenger seat, but he immediately twists around to greet Junhee with a metal filled smile._

_"Hi_ _Junnie_ _!"_

_The cars dome light turns the others skin a gross orange color, but he still manages to look beautiful without trying._ _Donghun's_ _is wearing nothing fancy, like the rest of them, but the big black long sleeve shirt and jeans still somehow look like high end fashion - or maybe Jun is just biased._

_Junhee smiles back at Donghun, that sunshiney expression on his face is too contagious._   
_"Hey..."_

_"I'll be honest Park, I didn't expect you to show up. Props to you" Sehyoon snarks, putting the car into drive and pulling away from the curb._

_Junhee frowns and glares at the olders head "Don't underestimate me Kim..."_

_Donghun sighs, drawing both of their attention. "God, can you two not be children for one night? Leave the weird alpha male bickering to another day..."_

_Junhee decides that he's right, Tonight was a night of many firsts and he wasn't about to let Sehyoon ruin it. He was ready to have a true teenage experience._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_Junhee does not want to have a teenage experience anymore._

_The taste of booze on his tongue isn't pleasant, the smell of weed burns his nose and the amount of teenage hormones seeping out of the packed dance area is suffocating._

_But it was like the movies, a living room stuffed with drunk or stoned teenagers and a kitchen filled with hyped beer pong crowd._

_Sehyoon had disappeared as soon as they'd entered the house, like a ghost or fae darting out of the human eye._

_Donghun had locked his and Junhee's arms together and pulled the younger towards the kitchen, hungry for alcohol to forget his day._

_The red cup filled with straight vodka burned Junhee's throat so badly that he stealthily dumped it into the sink when Donghun wasn't looking._

_Junhee got to be a baby sitter for most of the night, and it wasn't always the best thing._

_Donghun was apparently a very emotional drunk, he clung to Junhee like a monkey and all but refused to leave his side. He drug the other around, talking to random people and occasionally refilling his cup, the smell of vanilla flavored liquor getting huffed into Junhee's face everytime Donghun spoke to him._

_But at the same time, he can't help but think about how pretty Donghun is even now._

_The alcohol has his face flushed, makes his eyes droop even more until it almost looks sultry, and under the smell of beers and vodka Junhee can smell the flowery smell of_ _Donghuns_ _laundry softener that lingers in the fibers of his clothes._

_And if Donghun presses the very occasional kiss to his cheek he's not complaining, because he's a starved puppy in love with a boy that probably only seems him as a friend._

_But Junhee allows himself to be blind, allows his body to soak up the warmth of the other on his side, let's soft lips press to his own burning cheek and tangles their hands together under the guise of keeping the drunk boy close._

_The flowery smell is rose, he'd later come to find out_

_The night passes fast, but Junhee is too preoccupied to realize that the parties numbers have thinned out until only the host and completely smashed people are still around._

_The lingering smell of booze and sweat makes him a bit sick to his stomach, so he walks Donghun out onto the porch while using the others phone to text Sehyoon. He doesn't go through it, no matter how tempting it is._

_The last few texts in Donghun and_ _Sehyoons_ _thread are about him, Donghun asking his friend to be nice._

_Donghun realized how tense things were between the two of them_

_The sighs as Sehyoon messages back that he'll be down soon. He hopes that's true_

_He turns to Donghun, who's leaning into his side as the sit on the porch steps. He's half asleep, the earlier adrenaline of the alcohol is wearing off and causing him to crash and attempt to drive into the pool of sleep. He feels bad, he shouldn't have let the older drink as much as he did, but who is he to stop him._

_As Donghun curls into his side more, he represses the urge to run a hand through the others hair, or bring him closer._

_His dumb fantasy can only go on for so long, he knows he can't just act on them. Look, but never touch._

_He knows he's a hypocrite, he knows he's in trouble._

_It's fucked up because Donghun smells like roses and cologne even when he's drunk, and Donghun still looks pretty under shitty car lighting and sick party lamps, his laugh is still clear under the thick coating of booze on his teeth, and he's still warm in the cooling November breeze._

_Junhee is still a lost puppy, following around an even bigger puppy, like a love sick mutt._


	9. social.runingstart

_People often mistake being alone and feeling lonely as the same thing, but really you can be alone and not feel lonely or feel lonely and not be alone._

_People see someone sitting by themselves and think "wow, they must be lonely"_

_Think to a time you've felt bad for someone who didn't have friends, but if you look closer – did they actually look sad? Switch the scenario, think of a time you saw someone popular with lots of friends – did they look happy?_

_Humans are social creatures, so we need interactions – right?_

_Junhee was alone but hardly lonely, Donghun wasn't alone but he was lonely, and Sehyoon was both alone and lonely._

_The more they all hung out was how Junhee realized those facts. He changed because of that._

_Somehow, in a miracle, Junhee became lonely when he was alone._

_He became used to being around Donghun and Sehyoon, even if it wasn't constantly outside of the school walls._

_The winter and spring of his freshmen year sped by like a speeding car, his days spent looking forward to lunch and art class._

_He'd changed in a way that he nolonger minded going to those stuffy parties and sneaking out of his window became second nature now. Excuses rolled off of his tongue better than grey goose._

_Junhee was not a social person, but he grew to need the only two in his life that showed him a different way to live. The other side in a way, the other ways life._

_That's not to say that everything was peaches and cream, far far from it._

_Cutting class got him a handful of detentions, sliding out of his window ripped a few shirts and jeans, and when someone at those parties got a bit too drunk he'd come back with a bruise on his arm or two from being shoved away into the walls. His parents gave him at least two lectures by now, but didn't push any further surprisingly._

_But those small bumps didn't hold a candle to the adventures moving around him. He became lonely without something happening, whether it was rooftop naps or fence jumping – he started to understand why those teenagers in the movies did what they did._

_Though, only with Donghun and Sehyoon._

_Sehyoon, who'd previously possibly hated him, now held out civil hand shakes. Apparently watching over Donghun at the first party had been enough for the older to accept a truce between the two – though it felt more like the calm before the storm to Junhee. But still he accepted it as well._

_The calm before the storm... exactly._

_Freshmen year what the calm before the storm that would turn into the rest of his life._

  
  
  



	10. 7 Eleven Passed Midnight

_It's loud, everything around him is loud._

_His head, his weaknesses, his parents, his bed springs. Everything around him is loud and deafening to his weak ears._

_There's the full taste of alcohol and candy on his tongue, growing faint with how long ago he should have been in bed._

_His bedsheets aren't soft like most people's, they're scratchy and smell too much like the Monster Sehyoon had accidentally spilled onto it last week. It's uncomfortable, too hard as it sits on the floor of his bedroom._

_Donghun flinches at the loud crash deep into his house, his door long shut and locked._

_Music doesn't work anymore, both his earbuds are missing and even if he did have them he wouldn't be able to recognize the foots steps approaching his room. Though his itch for heavy bass annoys him, he'll have to get a new pair soon._

_He sighs quietly to himself, picking up his phone and opening his texts._

_To:_   
**_Sad Boy 🤖_ **   
_..._

_Slushies?_

_He waits for a reply, but he knows the answer already – it's their thing._

_You have (1) new message!_

**_Sad Boy 🤖_ **   
_..._

_omw_

_Donghun snorts to himself, the two had a joke between them that they'd drop anything they were doing to hangout with the other, and he is sure that Sehyoon was busy before he texted._

_Sehyoon lived a much more active life compared to Donghun even if it didn't seem like he did._

_While Donghun liked to drink at parties and have occasional hook ups, Sehyoon was at every party, constantly chasing skirts or cute boys, dabbled into much harder stuff than Donghun, and slept in his own bed maybe two times a week._

_He still happily called him his best friend._

_It's funny how close the two had become in just a little over a year, going from talking in their shared detention hour to not being able to imagine life without eachother. It's funny how all three of them had grown closer after Jun joined them as well._

_Although, the tension between Junhee and Sehyoon was undeniable – and it confused Donghun a bit. He didn't get it, but at the same time he did._

_It was a quietly known fact that Sehyoon was oddly protective of Donghun, even most of the kids in their school witnessed first hand just how borderline obsessive he was towards the older._

_Donghun understood why he felt that way though, somehow in the short time they'd known each other Donghun had became a mother figure, or even just an older brother figure to a guy that never truly one._

_Somehow Sehyoon worried that Donghun would leave, just like his mom had when he was younger – and thus, protective and guarded._

_In Sehyoon's mind, anyone Donghun spoke to would take him away, despite the older scolding him for it before multiple times. But he understood._

_Donghun didn't want to make it seem like he would ever leave Sehyoon behind, he couldn't nor wouldn't ever leave his bestfriend like that._

_But, he also really wanted to be friends with Junhee. Donghun will admit that Sehyoon's behavior can get in the way of that hope._

_He really likes Junhee, the younger is a breath of fresh air in his very suffocating life. He's extremely sweet and seems to genuinely want to be friends with Donghun for just Donghun._

_For once, other than Sehyoon, a decent person wanted to befriend him. Not a drug dealer, not a guy looking to experiment, not some girl liking him because he was "mysterious", and not even someone looking for a hit of pot._

_Junhee had wiggled his way into Donghuns heart and made a bed in the soft tissue._

_The younger was a bit of a breath of fresh air for Donghun, who'd spent so long in the dark and around heavy people and situations. He can't even deny that he feels slightly guilty for befriending him._

_After all, it seems like everything Donghun touches or likes turns sour. It's almost a parlour trick by now, hey look at him make this beautiful Lily die and turn to ash just by smiling at the damn planet._

_Okay so maybe it wasn't that extreme, but Donghun did tend to ruin the lives of the people around him – somehow._

_Sehyoon would argue that Donghun never did anything wrong, that he wasn't a bad person, but Donghun would brush it off because he knows that's not true. He's not a good person._

_He's not a good person and he's just going to bring down Junhee and Sehyoon with him._

_Donghun sighs to himself and grabs his wallet and jacket before slipping out of his window, landing with a very quiet oof._

_He's a toxic person, so might as well go out with a bang._   
  
  
  
  



End file.
